


Alfred's Adventures in Grocery Shopping

by AnakinTheTrashKing



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Fluff, Gen, No Angst, No Slash, One Shot, Sort of h/c?, batfam, bruce and dick pop in to say hi, but they kinda have other stuff to do, for now I think I might have a second chapter in my head somewhere, its mostly just Jason and Alfred talking, its story time with Alfred, just family - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-08
Updated: 2018-05-08
Packaged: 2019-05-03 22:52:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14579379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnakinTheTrashKing/pseuds/AnakinTheTrashKing
Summary: Jason collapses on patrol and wakes up in the Batcave's medbay. But there's been a question that's been bothering him all week. Where did Alfred get that new recipe from??It's time for some fluff.





	Alfred's Adventures in Grocery Shopping

Before his eyes even open, he can tell exactly who is in the antiseptic smelling room with him. The quiet breathing sounds disappointed as it mixes with the beeping of the lifesign monitors. Jason isn't really sure how breathing can sound disappointed when it isn't even sighing, but he knows that if any family could master that, it would be this one. But the measured sounds of restocking and reorganizing is what tips him off. Alfred. He knew he should have stayed in from patrol tonight.

"Hey doc, what's the diagnosis?" He groans more than speaks, a deep pain in his ribs as he breathes.

"Ah, Master Jason, you're awake. How are you feeling?"

"Like I got hit by a semi"

"Well, as Master Richard explained to me, you did not get hit by a semi, rather you hit the ground, after passing out on patrol." A single eyebrow was raised as Alfred turned from busying his hands to give Jason a stern look.

Jason cringed, and it wasn't from the pain in his torso. "Well... usually I'm better about this..."

"Better at not collapsing from a fever on patrol? Or better at staying in in the first place?"

The eyebrow seemed to inch closer to his receding hairline. The hight didn't seem possible to Jason but he figured he was probably on a nice mix of meds. He vaguely wondered how Alfred would react if he called him 'Spock'. Had Alfred ever seen Star Trek?   
Jason's eyes shifted back to the face in question and realized the look had shifted to concern. Oh yeah, he had asked a question...

"Uhhh.... both I think... I guess I was more sick than I thought..." aaaand back to eyebrow raising.

"Well, it seems that even before the cracked ribs from falling to the ground from a thankfully shorter distance than you could have, you were already well on your way to having pneumonia. Did you happen to be sick before your stakeout a couple nights ago in the rain?"

Leave it to Alfred to be able to make him feel sheepish and not angry at the accusation.   
"Weeelllll, I didn't think-"

"No, you didn't think. At all." Alfred cut in sharply before turning back to finish his organizing, medical supplies clicking purposefully back into their spaces.

"Aww, sorry Alfie. I really did mean to stay in tonight but when I got that call from Dickiebird it really sounded like an emergency and I guess my brain was already in a fog from being sick so I agreed to help him out."

Alfred sighed deeply as he finished his self assigned task, turning to lay his hand over the younger man's hand. "I know, my dear boy," he said softly, "I just wish all of you would take better care of yourselves."  
A short comfortable silence passed as they traded soft smiles, one apologetic, and the other forgiving.

As Alfred turned to find something else to busy his hands with, Jason remembered the question that had been in the back of his head for almost a week.

"Alfie," he began "where'd you get the recipe for that mango chutney from the other day? I don't remember having that before and it was amazing. When I'm cleared to get out of bed, would you show me how to make it?"

"Ah, yes. It's actually one of my older recipes. The recipe card had fallen behind some of the books in the shelf, so last week when I reorganized the pantry I found it wedged between the shelf and the wall. I had gotten that one from a nice older lady I met once in an Indian Market. She said it was her family recipe and to keep it safe. I do believe that if I had not been able to speak Telugu, I would not have been able to get that recipe."

"You say that as if you charm the recipes off old ladies all the time!" Jason laughed- or tried to laugh but really just ended up coughing, hurting his ribs, and making his lungs burn.

"Well, I wouldn't phrase it like that," Alfred reprimanded as he helped Jason sit up and drink some much needed water. "But I do find that many older women have some outstanding family recipes memorized."

"Are you telling me that you target older ladies in grocery stores to get the recipes??" Jason questioned incredulously. "What were you even doing in an Indian market? How do you know Telugu?"

"Well Master Jason, "he said overly patiently, looking as personally affronted as he possibly could, "The best place to get ingredients for curries is obviously an Indian market, just like the best place to get ingredients for moo goo gai pan is a Chinese market. Also, Master Bruce it's not the only one with an interest in other languages, although the original reasons were completely different. As to 'targeting older ladies in grocery stores'," he looked stern for a moment before melting into something that looked vaguely embarrassed, "I admit it may seem like that but it started out completely by accident."

"By accident? What happened?"

"It's a long story, Master Jason, and quite boring."

"A long story sounds nice right now, since I can't do much of anything... Besides, I hardly think anything related to this family is boring."

"Well, I suppose I could tell you a bit about it, seeing as you require some help to pass the time." Alfred settled into the chair next to the medical bed, returning his hand over Jason's and beginning his tale. "The first time I received a recipe from someone in a grocery store was right after Mr. and Mrs. Wayne passed away..."  
~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~  
He couldn't get young Master Bruce to eat anything. After calling Dr. Thompson and ensuring that it wasn't a symptom of a physical ailment, he had tried everything. Every favorite dish that the young Master had, every recipe for sickness, every sweet or pudding Bruce had shown interest in before – but the poor boy had not even realized that there was something different in front of him. It could have all been the same boring the porridge in front of him as he pushed his fork or spoon around the plate as if trying to act like he was even interested in eating something. So, at his wits end, he had dropped the child off at Dr. Thompson's and gone to the grocery store to try and find any sort of inspiration he could. As it was, he found himself staring at the bag of beans in his hands, close to tears. Why Mr. and Mrs. Wayne had ever thought he was qualified to raise a child in their absence was beyond him. He rested his head on the hard metal shelving in front of him. He heard a cart coming down the aisle, but exhausted beyond caring, his head stayed where it was.

"Excuse me, are you all right?" Someone asked from the left.

Straightening and turning as fast as he did made the world spin and he realized that Bruce was not the only one who hadn't been eating enough lately. 

"Yes, yes, I am quite all right, thank you."

"I highly doubt that," the woman sniffed, "you look like you haven't eaten in days."

Too tired to care anymore, he gave in to the comforting expectancy of the woman in front of him. He vaguely noticed the two children sitting in the cart she was pushing.

"If only that were the biggest problem. I am caring for my nephew," he said, lying smoothly "his parents died just the other day, not even a week ago. I can't get him to eat anything, and I've tried everything I can possibly think of."

"I am so sorry. That must be very difficult." She paused for a moment, "would you have happened to have tried making congee? I only ask because after my grandfather died, congee was the only thing my mother could get me to eat. I was very close with my grandfather and had felt sick to my stomach for days. The congee helped. I could write down the recipe for you if you want?"

"Yes..." then more confidently "yes, please. I've never made it before but if it might help, of course I will try it. Thank you. Thank you, Ms....?"

"Oh, just call me Soojin" turning to grab paper and a pen she took a moment to talk to her children, "Just wait a moment longer and if you are you are a good mom will give you both a piece of candy" The children chattered to each other quietly while she wrote down the recipe. "Here you go-"

"Alfred" he supplied.

"Here you go, Alfred. I hope it works, and I hope your pain eases soon."

"Thank you." He said once more, before hurrying through the store to get the ingredients he needed.  
~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~  
"So did it work? "Jason asked.

"Somehow…" Alfred paused, deep in thought, "somehow it did. It turned out that Master Bruce and his parents had made a trip to Korea a while before that, and Master Bruce had gotten sick on the trip. His mother had cared for him and that is what they were able to feed him. When I made it for him he cried for the first time since his parents had died. It was a turning point for both of us."

"Telling old stories again, Alfred?" Bruce cut in, standing at the edge of the med bay.

"Only the boring ones, of course. How else am I supposed to get anyone to sleep?" Alfred returned wryly.

In a few quick steps, Bruce was at Jason's bedside. 

"How are you feeling, Jaylad?" His eyes searching and his voice is soft.

"I'm fine." Eyes avoidant and voice gruff. Despite being back for a while he still wasn't used to being cared for again. It was claustrophobic compared to before and it weirded him out. It wasn't as if any breath could be his last. As technically true as that might be.

"... we had a break in the case, so I wanted to check in on Jay for a moment before I went back out again." The conversation continued as Jason came out of his thoughts.

"I assure you Master Bruce, Master Jason will be all right and is out of danger. "

Bruce's eyes looked hesitant and out of place while beneath the cowl.

"Just go already, old man."

He gave a curt nod and his cape shifted as he turned to leave. Almost at the door he stopped as Jason sighed out a "wait". Turning again, this time his eyes more hopeful than they had any right being, softened when Jason uttered a begrudging but truthful:

"Thanks. For stopping by. Be safe I guess."

Bruce nodded again and left. Jason thought Dickie smiling in the cowl was weird, but it Turns out that he's got nothing on Bruce's smile in the cowl. The weird combination of the angry form of the mask and the too bright smile was something Jason probably wouldn't be able to forget. Unfortunately. Or fortunately. He wasn't sure yet. His mind was still drifting, and he tried to remember what snarky remark he was going to say before Bruce walked in. Oh well, must not have been so important.

"So that's why you swindle old women out of family recipes? Should we find a new villain name for you? The Recipe Raccoon perhaps?" Internally he mourned the loss of snappy lines due to this cocktail of what was probably antibiotics and pain medication.

Obviously Alfred could tell because he just patted Jason's hand and answered patiently.

"No, it was just the first of a few happenings. After things got back to as normal as they could be, I forgot it happened, though not before finding an address and sending a thank you note. What really began my -perhaps less than honest- dealings in the grocery store, is the fact that every time something happened that pushed me past my limitations, I would end up at the grocery store, and some extremely sweet older lady would ask if I was all right, and everyone's solution to my problem was a recipe. Although that may have been because Master Bruce always did love running himself into the ground when he met with a puzzle he couldn't figure it out." A pointed look was given before he continued. "It wasn't until Master Richard came along that I purposefully went looking for recipes. After so many of Master Bruce's problems were helped along after a good meal, when he came home with a young child who had nothing but a bag of clothes and a broken look in his eyes, I knew I would need new recipes. After settling them in and getting out of Master Bruce where he had found young Master Dick, I rushed over to where Haley's Circus was and asked as many of the circus members as I could what young Master Richard's favorite recipes were. I was so frazzled at that point, and those from the circus were in shock from the Grayson's sudden deaths that they easily gave me their recipes. I felt bad later for accidentally taking advantage of a terrible situation, but every time one of those recipes came in handy, I could only be thankful."

"Alfie, is that how you could always tell what Romani dish I needed?" This time it was Dick who interrupted, lightly striding into the room. "Now the magic is broken! I always thought it was your super power. "

"I know nothing of having a super power, Master Dick, but knowing you as a person certainly helped me to choose a recipe to cheer you up. "

"OK, well then that at least has to be a super power! You always know what we need before we even know we need anything! I promise not to tell Bruce you have super powers, although I doubt he'd care if it was you." Dick replied with a conspiratorial wink.

"If you say so, Master Dick." Alfred had a difficult time keeping a smile from breaking across his face. Sitting back in his chair he tried to allow some space for the two oldest brothers to interact.

"Hey, Little Wing, how are you feeling?"

"Bruce already asked that. He should have told you, I'm fine, Big Wing-Ding" Jason rolled his eyes.

"No, he told us you have three cracked ribs, a bad cold with a fever and an almost sure chance that you'll develop pneumonia."

"Well if you know all that, why are you asking?"

"Because I want to know how you feel, Jaybird, not your medical diagnosis."

"Well, I feel like I was hit by a semi. I hit the dirt, which is basically the same thing anyways. But I'll be fine."

Dick watched him for a moment as if searching for the truth, before deciding that was truth enough for him.

"I love you, little wing. Feel better soon." 

Dick grabbed his other hand and squeezed, trying to keep himself from hugging him. It was too obvious.

"Yeah, yeah." Jason rolled his eyes again, thinking that might be as much as he might be able to do for a while. He quickly gave Dick's hand and squeeze anyways before pulling away. "See ya, Big Bird, keep those kiddies safe."

Dick smiled as he left, worried and warm. Jason tried to make his brain think back to before his older brother so rudely interrupted.

"So, wait. At least going to people who knew him made sense – why get recipes from complete strangers?"

"Well, for one, complete strangers don't usually run out of new recipes. Or they at least have a new spin on old recipes. The second reason is that I am able to practice my acting skills and see the results."

"Ha! You are a swindling people!"

"I am not depriving people of the recipes, Master Jason, I am simply convincing them to share them with me."

"Exact definitions aside, how many recipes have you gotten this way? Does Bruce know? Which recipes are from other people?"

"More than likely master Bruce knows, or at the very least suspects. I'm sure he does not mind, seeing as no harm comes to anyone. As to how many, I've never counted but I have kept all the originals in a folder. Tomorrow after you have had a good nights rest I can bring the folder down and we can go through them. I'll even tell you some of the stories of how I got them. But for now," Alfred rose to shut off the overhead lights of the med bay, leaving just the low lights lighting the walkways. "You need to sleep. Rest well Master Jason, do call if you require anything."

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first batfam fic I've ever written! I'd like to write a part two but we'll see whether or not the idea in my head is able to rattle its way out of my head on to a page.  
> I got the idea for this when I was looking through my grandma's old recipes and cookbooks.  
> There's a couple nods to other Fanfic (like Dr.Thompson having a hand in raising Bruce) I forget the name of the fic. I'm sorry. But it was an awesome fic im just a forgetful person.  
> Also, while I did edit this, I used voice to text and I'm not so great at tenses so if there's an error please tell me and I'll try and fix it.  
> Hope you enjoyed it! Thanks for reading!!


End file.
